As a child, my heart had this deep ache. I was in love with Jesus and knew that “Jesus loves me. . .” but my heart was aching for more. I looked at my church and my experience with Jesus and I knew this couldn’t be all there was.
I couldn’t explain it or define it, but I knew I was settling for less than was love with Jesus looks like. I knew this, but I was also trapped in my experiences. So my heart ached for more, without any hope of finding it.
During a worship time this past week, like any other worship time I experience several times a week, I looked around the room and realized, this is what 11 year old Terah was crying out for. My experience with God is everything I dreamed of. I know that I know that I know He’s the best, most intimate thing in my life, and looking around the room at everyone else worshiping, I can see the same adoration for Him in their eyes. This isn’t some special occasion thing, some spiritual high at a conference. This is my every day with Jesus.
He’s closer to me than anything. We are one. It is just so fun. Every moment with Him is the best experience of my life. I knew it was supposed to be this Good.
A room full of people having the most fun in their life with Jesus is church. These are people who aren’t faking happiness by repressing the realities of life, but are filled with joy, because they go through those realities carried in the arms of their Daddy, who breathed out the stars.
Heart abandon worship is such a natural thing for me now. The music starts and I’m there. Because I’ve been in union with Him all day. We’ve been dancing in the throne room singing “So This is Love” all day, why not do it out loud?
There is no striving in this. There’s only relationship and peace and joy.
Safe to be free.
Deep-breath peace and overwhelming glory.
Weight off my shoulders.
Spring in my step.
And this is my every day, forever.