Missing

I’ve been living in PA for more than a month. This is the first time in my life than my home has been in a different state than my family members.

I’ve never experienced this kind of missing them before. If I miss them, I can’t just plan a visit or schedule a day to spend together. I’ve got to chose joy and contentment in the awesome life I’m getting to experience in PA and live with missing them.

In a weird way, part of how I’m missing my family is a total Praise the Lord!

When God presented the idea of moving out to PA, I was surprised. You see, a big reason why I had stayed where I was in MN was because I felt very clearly that I was meant to stay with my family and bring some sunshine in a tough time. So when God told me I was supposed to move away the next year, I knew that mean He was saying my family would be ready for me to go, that they would not need me to be there anymore because they would be in a great place. “You mean, everything is going to be okay by September?” “Yeah, Terah. I’ve got this.”

My family was in a dark place. I trusted God that He would have things good by September; it would be hard, but He could do it.

Then I realized how weak my faith had been when He had my two main concerns taken care of, not by September, but by Spring of this year. My mind was blow! God had restored the two big things with my family that I had been waiting for. He had fulfilled His promise to take care of my family so I could move and I still had three more months at home!

But He wasn’t done. He had promised me family restoration before I left, and He took that promise more seriously that I. He had more than I could ask, think, or imagine.

Over the course of the Summer, God healed all the wounds that had been in my heart in relation to family matters and brought genuine friendship into all my relationships with siblings. When I was young I couldn’t understand my older and wilder brother’s energy and boyishness, so I had a lot of conflict with him and often got him in trouble. I love how God gives hope and a future, though. My brother has graciously forgiven me for my jerkish behavior as a child. Then he went and fell in love with a girl who I get along great with and quite enjoy hanging out with. A few days before moving to PA, I was honored to be part of their wedding. *imagine praise hands emojis here* I love how God develops lives.

Another relationship that God did crazy fun things with over the Summer was  with my sister. We’ve got along fine our whole lives but there has been a distance between us that I didn’t like. I was stepping into insecurity in how I related to her and believed internal lies about rejection and such which kept me from loving her well. Over the Summer my sister and her family moved into the family’s house temporarily. It was the best present God could have given me. Not only did I have adorable nephews and a niece to play with, I had my sister back. I learned how to be friends with her and also discovered that she wanted to be my friend. I missed her when I was gone for a week at work and when I got home I could tell she missed me. Supper would end up being late because her and I were having so much fun talking that she would forget to cook. She became my confidant and dear friend. I could go to her for advice and comfort and humor. She is so good at being a big sister! She sees the areas where I’m walking in fear and reminds me who I am. I MISS HER. I miss her dreadful. The other day I looked at her Instagram and cried because of how much I miss her.

I hate missing her, but it is the most amazing miracle that I am close enough to my sister to miss her this much. I’ve never experienced this in my life. And I know she misses me. It is kind of the best problem to have. I’m so excited for all the years I get to enjoy being her sister and her friend.

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