My King-Lover

As mentioned in the previous post, moving states away from my beloved family and MN peeps has been more bearable than expected. I’ve actually been enjoying myself. Did I cry after I got off the phone with my sister the other day? Definitely. Did my heart break a little – in the best way – to hear my nephews say repeatedly that they miss me? Yes. Did I get choked up when my neighbor mentioned how he talked with my Dad? Certainly.

But instead of crying myself to sleep or tossing and turning each night, dreading the next day spent away from those who are in my heart, I’ve been doing something else. Two things, really.

The first: Whenever I feel that fearful, panicky feeling rise up in my stomach, I ask God what’s true. He told me to move here, which means being here is the best thing. “Fear is just a lie, open up your eyes…” So I ask, “God, remind me of what is true.”

Then I might dance to Resurrection in My Veins by Jonathan Helser:

I’ve got the same Spirit in me
That pulled You up from the grave.
I don’t have to be afraid.

What can man do to me?
I’ve got resurrection in my veins.
You called me out of my tomb just by saying my name.
And I’ve got resurrection in my veins.
I won’t be afraid, I won’t be afraid, I won’t be afraid.
I’ve got You in me, I’ve got You in me.
I won’t be afraid, I won’t be afraid, I won’t be afraid.

I was made to fly, I was made to walk on this water
I’m remembering, I’m remembering who I am
And Who’s inside of me.
I’m remembering, I won’t be afraid.
I won’t be afraid.
Fear, you will not take my destiny.
Fear, you will not hold me down no more.
I won’t be afraid.

Resurrection’s in my veins.
Resurrection’s in my veins.
Resurrection’s in my veins.
Resurrection’s in my veins.

Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO19z3qqTm8

The other thing that is holding me together is a word God gave me months ago – “Terah, you’re not going to — alone, I’m going with you! Let’s go on an adventure!” Since he spoke that to me, I’ve studied Song of Songs with my MN Spice Girls. Now I know that Jesus is my King-Lover, my Husband. I went to PA with the most intimate Person in my life. I’m not sleeping alone in a strange place or biking solo down unfamiliar streets. My Jesus is right there with me.

In wedding vows there is a phrase, “forsaking all others.” That’s what I’m doing this year. Forsaking all others – moving away from all the people I did not want to leave in MN – and clinging to God. I’m doing there “Therefore a man (or woman) shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife (or husband). . .”

God, forsaking all others, I cling to You.

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